Rooted, I used to think.

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Five Months - Wednesday, Feb. 07, 2024
Biting the Hand - Monday, Jan. 29, 2024
The Chairlift - Sunday, Jan. 28, 2024
Four Months - Tuesday, Jan. 16, 2024
Three Months - Tuesday, Dec. 19, 2023

Wednesday, Feb. 07, 2024 @ 2:49 pm
Five Months

Month five. Negative.

I thought that I would get pregnant in Hawaii. There was time to relax and enjoy each other. We stayed in romantic, secluded hide-aways. One morning, we woke up in a little cottage on a papaya farm, tucked far down a dirt road swathed in vines and low-hanging palm fronds. A rainbow painted over the bed. We made love, and I dreamed of telling my child that she was conceived during a morning rainstorm on a papaya farm in Pāhoa.

This month I hardly tried. He came into my home office on a Wednesday morning to ask me when our window was, and I had to open my chart to check.

“Oh,” I said. “Today. What are you doing at lunch?”

Roots | Shoots