2002-03-27 @ 5:26 p.m.
The grass is always greener
My mind is twisting and straining. The future. Where do I want to be in 5 years? I have some plans. Some. And I don't know which one to follow.
I accepted the Live-In Position on Monday. This means that I must find full-time work in the city. Waiting in my inbox when I got home from classes was a job offer. A REAL job offer. Genomics. Out of town.
I'd given up on that job. They kept telling me there was no funding. And two days after I sign a contract to stay in the city they scrape up the money.
OK, so my original plan for university was to take the Pre-Vet route. Animals have always been a passion blah blah blah. Somehow I got sidetracked into Cell Biology and the whole Research thing. I'm still not sure if I have the devotion for veterinary work, but the idea lingers in the corners of my mind. Then my boss told me today that all of the live-ins that have applied for Vet School have been accepted. It could be my ticket.
So there is my dilemma. Is life going to be an academic affair of research and genetics? Or is live going to be a heroic mission to save the animals? Or... will I go back to Customs. Sure, it has nothing to do with school or my degree, but it was damn fun and interesting. Three options. Three. Out of town. In town. Risk. Life.
I'm not sure about Todd anymore. Actually, I'm sure it won't work out. He's too young. He's too focused on sex. On ICQ last night, he was describing his outing with his friend to some porn store to buy her a vibrator and other toys. I told him about how I used to be paid to watch porn... he got rather interested... but I don't think he understands how much the job has turned me off of porn and sex in general. So, ya, now Todd probably thinks I've got 'the moves'. He said "You are interesting". I take that to mean that he is 'interested'. Ya, buddy, I know what you are interested in. And I'm not.
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