I got a 2 out of 5 on my performance review. I failed. Yes, my math really does suck. See that 94% in Calculus II on my transcript?? That was before two boys, two concussions, tequila, and a few ounces of BC pot. "I'll do better. I promise." Plus he told me that I needed to work on my introvertedness. They've told me that since I was... oh... in preschool? "Yeah, I'll work on it."

So I showed him, with results at the end of the day of 99.84%. He was shaking his head in disbelief. You fail me, I'll push myself to the limit to overcome you. I hate science. I hate it because it's practically the only thing I've failed at. I was star cashier, man, people hounded my till as I processed the customers like a beer bottling machine. Then I went on to greater digs, the Government. They loved me. Put me on glass alley every day and I sure did expidite those grannies. Then they shipped me over to postal where I broke records of over 400 parcels a day. Hucking mail built my triceps, and boy oh boy do people order nasty things from the 'net. Then I became a protein purification queen. That's what they intoduced me as whenever anyone visited the lab.