2002-07-31 @ 10:12 p.m.
Fate
While writing my last entry, I was really trying to say that I need change.
Life is stagnating. Nothing is wrong, but there is something missing. I
have difficulties interpreting feelings and emotions - sometimes I laugh
when I'm really upset. Now I realize that my loneliness is more than just
a product of being alone. It is a culmination of my desire to get
something even more out of this amazing life.
I've forced myself to be more social this week. The rewards have been
immense.
First, I visited with my neighbour's child for a long time. She helped me
to remember that other people are important, that in helping her to learn
about the world, I myself learn so much more.
Second, I called up Jen, who I hadn't talked to in a month. She talked to
me for a couple hours. I listened. I'm good at listening, or maybe she's
just good at talking. Whatever the case, I feel more connected to the
'Shore people. What with Shuswap coming up next week, I need to get in on
the current jokes and gossip.
Third, I went for a walk with a friend that I only ever talk to online. We
started at Science World and went all the way down past Granville Island to
Kits Beach. He brought his digital camera and was determined to get a good
photo of terminally-unphotogenic me. Surprisingly, he managed to get a
handfull.
Fourth, I have a date on Saturday. Just when I complain that I haven't had one since
February, I get a super exciting invitation.
Get this: 4th year med student at Stanford, did masters at UBC, parents
live in Point Grey, 1/2 Asian 1/2 Italian.
Yeah, I'm incredibly nervous. We are going for Sushi then to watch the
fireworks.
Unreal. UNREAL.
�