Rooted, I used to think.

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Purgatory - Sunday, Feb. 10, 2019
Day Fifteen - Saturday, Feb. 09, 2019
Day Fourteen - Saturday, Feb. 09, 2019
Day Thirteen - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2019
Atonement - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2019

Monday, Jan. 13, 2003 @ 7:08 pm

I'm glad that it's Monday. The routine has completely settled me. Regular sleep patterns, regular eating schedules.. interactions with people that aren't intensely emotional.

I should really never see Dave again. He's clinging closer these days, showing so much happiness when I'm around. He always was an overpowering flirter, and now it's insane. He thinks he still can just touch me wherever or do whatever and I'll be cool with that. Admittidly I don't tell him that it bothers me (and makes my friends shake their heads at his pathetic attempts to resurrect the past) simply because I don't want to make a scene. There was a scene once... a huge scene.. I should have known not to show up at popular downtown bar with boy-of-3-months in tow. I really didn't think it would escalate into a brawl and crying and bouncer involvement. Alcohol and broken hearts are dynamite.

Lesson learned: Don't date in your main group of friends. Damn. Guess I shouldn't be spending so much time with him. (Ahh beer bong parties. The best reason to head over to the 'shore.) But.. but... argh. I've know him for soooo long it just seems natural. He's woken up beside me in sun-heated-icky tents, me with sleeping-bag hair stinking like campfire and vodka, and still he leans on me at shows. I've been at his side when he puked after a great party. It just seems natural.

I like coming home, feeling settled from a day of classes and routine and calling Mom. Today she ranted about our irresponsible premier and told a story about how they are renovating my old bedroom into a guest room. We talked about what to make for dinner. My options were limited somewhat by the emptiness of my fridge (actually, the onion/spinach/tomato/basil concoction was not bad. cabbage still resides in the far corner. he's gonna be there for a while).

It somewhat bothers me when the other live-in moves my laundry out of the dryer. I see him every day and he's been folding my underwear. Who folds underwear? Nothing I own gets folded... or ironed...

A generically crunchy geography guy sat beside me today and actually talked to me. Eventually we exchanged names. This is big. He then left without saying 'bye, nice meeting you'. Bastard people that just talk to everyone.

There was a girl in genetics with fluffy feathery things on her braids like old-school Britney. She also had a fluffy thing on her pen.

I have this tutorial that is marked on participation. There are 12 people in the class - way over my stranger limit of comfort for talking. The TA mediated a discussion today. Nearing the end, and noting that I was the only one who hadn't contributed, she asks "Anyone else?" and makes eye contact with me. I go red. Finally I find a place to interject and the chick on my left cuts me off. I was just getting to the point.. it was just 3 seconds into my mental paragraph!

And finally, I get to meet this sock on Thursday if all goes according to plan. I'm very nervous about meeting someone who knows me from the inside out (but not from the outside). I read a slew of his earlier entries this afternoon, some of which I don't remember reading in the first place. So many times I moved the mouse cursor to the guestbook link and then realized that the entry was from 2001. I snickerd out loud once in the Commons. Not very cool. Honestly I think he's going to be frustrated with me. I only get good after a couple months of hanging out - be it coworkers, friends or whoever.

Get Good. Vocabulary where are you?

I've had 8 hours of sleep combined over the last 2 days. I think it's time for a jog in the rain.

Roots | Shoots