And then my sister blew out her birthday candles in one breath - every single one - and the jokes about her blowing skills lasted a good five minutes. That is so wrong, so very very wrong.

My cousin works at the video store, so naturally the conversation drifted to the Blue Room of his store. So that added up to two full-length dirty conversations.

Then the joke telling starts. Bad war jokes. One about how sons were captured and the need to bag dad. One about how Miss Muffet and Saddam and kurds in their way. That's right about when I downed the vile asparagus.