Flip-flops and a discman. Feels like summer here. Smells like summer. My face is burning red from hours of jogging underneath the power lines.

I stop in a shadow to see who�s at the benches. Two girls. One with dyed-red hair, the other wearing a studded collar and raccoon eyeliner. One, two� three. Three is Dave�s former best friend, sauntering towards the girls with his guitar slung across his back. Beyond them I see the singer from Dave�s band. He�s everywhere here even when he�s not.

I come out of the shadow and walk past. Nobody expects me to be back here. They are involved in conversation. I flip-flop away.

Should-have called this afternoon. I didn�t answer. I know he�s more into me than I am into him. That�s very obvious. He told me that he is always afraid of breaking hearts, so I�ll relieve him of that worry.

This way of going about relationships is so much better for my confidence. Despite the appearance of rushing into a physical relationship, on that night of the fair the only clothes removed were my socks. I forced him to meet my mother. I made him drop me off before 11pm. Evil? Evil. Yet he still calls. There is the confidence.

I think I just used a guy.