we all went to drink at the whip as per the usual friday afternoon tradition.

Shannon's last day is Friday May 2 and i thought we could celebrate with some drinks at my place after work...We could start at the whip, have everybody meet up, then head over to my place a little later. I'm easy, whatever everyone wants. cheers, g

and people came and drank. and i hugged people goodbye. when my semi-boss left everything became sadder and more dark. he left with his girlfriend to double on his bike. so perfect they are for each other.

i had a goodbye lunch today too. complete with gift and card. i love the card. it's better than my yearbook. Dear Shannon, I wish you a good time in Europe. Bert. Classic! then from g: Shannon, you're the best co-op I've ever had.. oops, i mean, we've ever had. G. He was the one who proclaimed he was easy in a company-wide email!

If brad hadn't offered me a ride back to granville i'd probably still be there now. i should be glad that i'm out of that emotional turmoil. but he gets to me somehow. it came up in conversation that he is no longer with his girlfriend. that is good that he's out of it - but that is no reason for me to get reinvolved. no matter what my hormones say he is a jerk. Jerk! get that in your head. stop with the attraction.

godamnit.

i ran into my sister on granville.. she was waiting to get into the cellar or some crap bar full of crap people. i should have stayed to hang with them but i had all my stuff from work still.. and had been drinking since 4pm.. a hug and a kiss onthe cheek and whoosh back on the bus.

downtown a honking traffic jam of guys in cars with flags.

filling the last page of my paper diary as the bus cruised over the bridge.

i still haven't called Should-have back. now it's getting stupidly late. oh well. he (I?) had no chance of winning this one: harass me with calls and i feel crowded and i run; don't call me and i don't call you.

and then in the mailbox was a card. i opened it up and a ten pound note fell out. from my neighbours.. wishing me good luck.. and to use the pounds on a pub lunch in ireland.

i'm dehydrated and overwhelmed and sad. life. moving on is not easy. you've heard it before, i know, it's still terribly hard. these people know me better than my friends; i know them better than i know my friends.. i guess they ARE my friends. i wonder if i'll be back there in november..

giddyup. buck up. cheer up!

you cannot afford to be afraid to move on.