Thursday, Jul. 08, 2004 @ 11:39 pm
Uprooted, they uprooted me just like I did to that loosestrife. Strife? In my mind, bitter conflict, strife for sure. Just when I had it all planned out, 99% isn't good enough.
I see the signs. The lavender in that roundabout invades my lungs and the chain clicks as I stop pedalling. Lavender and fireweed, stonecrop, alyssum... knees in the dirt in the garden. Sun sets and it's still dark but I'm pulling weeds and tying the tomatoes and smelling the green tomato smell. That smell tells me I am successful and talented... no matter what the university thinks. Smart, science, I've already done it, why does this shake me up?
My future. It floats above me and the loosestrife - we're the coloured dots, small, surrounded in green.
Tomorrow I will clean the mice like every other day for the last seven months. What else am I going to do? I push the word failure from my mind.
Instead I search the classified ads for the answers to my uncertain future. Do you want to come?