Saturday, Aug. 14, 2004 @ 1:58 pm
Meet the Friends
Backyard party, in the grass, tea lights and pillows. I know I'm on display, I know they are judging my every word and gesture.
Flat flat city, square blocks, numbered roads. Strip malls, running red lights.
Chris takes me by the hand as we walk down Garden City. Are you ready for this? he asks, pausing in the driveway. There's a willow tree swaying and magenta streamers swishing on the gate. Laughter, barbeque smells, pairs of staring eyes.
They know about me. He told them about Brown Mouse and White Mouse and Ratt and Chins1.2.3. I meet his ex. I am given wine and tequila, and they make me feel so welcome. I wanted to STAY...
We talk quietly at night. He confesses, I told you I had insomnia. What I didn't tell you is that it was because I was thinking about you. Wondering if you could like me. I don't tell him how I replayed a moment over and over in my head too - when he said goodbye and started to walk away, leaving his hand on my hip, lingering there a bit too long. That I thought about.
It's a wonderful thing, to realize that you are beautiful and attractive after so many years of pretending to have confidence.