Friday, Oct. 03, 2008 @ 7:25 pm
Things continue to be great.
Something switched inside of me this summer. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm actually getting somewhere, in school, work, life. I have become so comfortable with who I am, accepting my previous flaws and mistakes.
Things with Daniel have been very good lately. He's still frustrated with some things in his life, and that frustration affects me too, but in general we're falling back in tune with each other.
The other night we decided to make applesauce. We were sitting at the kitchen table, him peeling, me slicing. The windows steamed up from the canner boiling on the stove. Us talking, no technology in sight. I can see us homesteading. That would be my ultimate life adventure, however far fetched. Perhaps later...
I met a beautiful young girl today on campus. There aren't many girls in the Tech Building, so I made a point of talking with her. She's so bright, so sure of herself. She definitely doesn't need my help adjusting, but it will be nice to have a friendly female face to see around every now and then.
I will be sad to leave the campus next June. I will miss having long chats in the hallways with teachers. I will miss having so many men know me by name. I will miss how sometimes I am so suddenly reminded of my being female, blush, and realize that each man in the room is aware of my every move.
Maybe it's just that - feeling truly female - that's developed my confidence. In the past, I gained attention by not being a 'pretty' girl. No make-up. No fuss. A 'guy's' girl, I thought. No, I don't need that anymore. I can be myself: I can be a little soft, a little flirty. And they fall all over it.
I haven't hidden anything. I haven't pretended for one minute. And they still like me.
Men... and I come home to one, one of the best ones that I've found.