Monday, Jun. 22, 2009 @ 8:03 pm
Number Four: Ben
And it continues...
Before my soils exam this morning, Ben walks into the room. Tall, leaning, a smile. So focused, focused in right no me. He sits down.
We're talking. The rest of the room is blurred. Ben and me. He says, "You were with me this morning."
"You were there, down by the lake, and you were making tea. You said The tea is ready. And then I woke up."
He tells me this, and my face goes red. Sweat comes out of pores on my hands. I am red, so so red. I can't think about anything else except Ben waking up to a dream of me. In his thoughts. I stare at him, unable to respond.
He has given me this little gift just a few days before I'll never see him again. I want to be there, drinking tea beside a lake with him. There's so much that I want to do with him, in a parallel life.
My sister analyzes, "These are tests. You're going through a huge life change over the next three months. This is testing your commitment to Daniel."
Yes, yes, yes. I can see that. I am committed. But still, I can't help thinking about Ben thinking about me.