Four nights in a row at the gym. �Running, staring at a plywood wall that makes my mind run faster than the six miles per hour of my feet. �I feel his eyes on my back, and sweat falls from the ends of my hair onto the thin skin of my chest. �He steps onto the treadmill beside me, and we're running at the same pace. �His lean arms and legs, determined and disciplined.

You're a cardio powerhouse says Jessie, after I come off a ten km run. �This from that kid, so cocky and sure, warming up to me. �He and Matt go off together, and I want to know what they are talking about.

I like it when she's here. �We can actually have a conversation.�

He says this and I'm right there. �Rain continues to fall. �I pretend to not hear. �

We sit in the trailer alone and he asks me things and something is happening that is bigger than I can explain. �How chemicals and genetics can draw two people together.�

In my room at night, alone. �Thinking about everything that is happening to me. �How I can be falling into a friendship with someone like him. �Wondering what he is thinking. �That the impossibility of it all makes it so bittersweet. �I'm not a fool - chemistry is rarely one sided. �

Water pools between the trailers at camp. �They stagnate and it reminds me if tide pools. �An old man makes a lewd comment as I traverse the boardwalk towards the commons. �I run on a treadmill in an Atco trailer on the side of a mountain in the middle of nowhere. �Leaves come out on the trees and grass begins to emerge from the top soil stockpiles. �Faint bird calls from the forest edge. Clanging metal and back up beepers.