Rooted, I used to think.

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Purgatory - Sunday, Feb. 10, 2019
Day Fifteen - Saturday, Feb. 09, 2019
Day Fourteen - Saturday, Feb. 09, 2019
Day Thirteen - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2019
Atonement - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2019

Monday, Feb. 18, 2013 @ 10:12 am

I feel like there's a lot to explain, that I should document what happened in the last 8 months.

When we found out that Daniel got a job in Surrey, I requested a transfer to my company's Vancouver location. They accomodated my move, on the condition that I finish up my scheduled shifts doing survey coordination and design work at the mine. We thought about where we were going to live and decided on New Westminster, with the idea that it would split the commuting time evenly between the two of us.

Well, we moved in, and a week later the landlord called us to tell us that she was putting the place on the market. At that point our house up North was still for sale. For a time, there were photos of our stuff on two different MLS listings. For a time, we were doing showings of our place up North as well as the condo in the city.

A month passed and the house up North sold. Several months passed, and the cond was still on the market. We were cleaning the place for showings on average twice per week. We had a year-long lease, and the realtor was supposed to be showing it only to investors. We knew that we had the right to stay for the length of the term, and we knew that the market was such that no investor was going to buy this particular unit (pending litigation between the strata and the builder).

Five months later, absolutely fed up with bi-weekly showings, we decided to tell the realtor that we'd move out with one month's notice. Around that time, we were offered a really nice condo in town through a friend of a friend. We asked our landlord if we could get out of the lease and she said no. She couldn't afford any risk of losing a month's rent. A month later, we asked again and she agreed on the condition that we find suitable replacement tenants. So we posted an ad, showed the place, found a really great long-term couple with excellent references. She checked their references, and an hour before we were all supposed to meet to sign the paperwork, she cancelled the whole deal.

Imagine our frustration. Daniel called her to tell her that we were moving out February 1st. That we had been extremely accomodating throughout the last 7 months, that we were done, and that we were leaving. End of story.

Well, I guess our willingness to move prompted an offer on the apartment, and she actually sold the place within a week of our blow out. The close date was for the 15th. Not the 1st. Cue the battle over 1/2 month's rent.

Our perspective is that she never would have sold the place if we hadn't agreed to move on short notice. Furthermore, we technically should have been compensated for moving out on such short term notice to accomodate her needs. Yes, we wanted to move, but had the last 8 months played out differently we may not have wanted to move.

Anyhow, she begrudginly agreed to split the difference. We got a discount on our first month's rent because we accepted it late in the month (they risked losing a month's rent if they couldn't find a tenant within two weeks, so they posted a discount to encourage applicants) so in the end we are only out a couple hundered dollars. And the moving costs.

She post-dated our damage deposit return cheque. There is a significant chance that it will bounce, so we're probably going to take it to Money Mart to take advantage of a cheque cashing loophole. We no longer have any collateral, and trying to get another cheque out of her will be pretty much impossible. Frick. When will this whole thing be over?

Well, we've been in the new place for a couple of weeks now. It's only 660 square feet. The house up north was 2450 square feet. The condo in New West 1050 square feet. It's an interesting transition, and not a bad one. It's cathartic to sell off furniture. It's easier to make a small space cozy. I'm getting my way a bit more with the refurnishing. I want a bright, white crisp space. White furniture. Colourful accents. With floor to ceiling windows and a 5th floor city view, I want to draw the eye away from the contents and out to the mountains on the skyline.

We live next door to a library and rec centre. We're within two blocks of several cafes, coffee shops, grocery, pharmacy, liquor, post office... you name it. It's a Walk Score of 100. The house in PG scored around 32. There's a gym and a rooftop community garden in our building. Most of the people that live in this building are young, and nearly everyone chats in the elevator. It's amazing. A refreshing take on life. No more 55 minute commute. No more antisocial building. We were walking along Main St on Saturday, and some friends of ours were driving by and saw us and pulled up to the sidewalk to chat. More community in the city than in the 'burbs?

Alf. That was a tough one. Daniel's sister's fiancee's mother took him. They live in a big three-story townhouse in Surrey. They heard about him and thought that he would be the perfect cat to replace their funny orange cat that passed away a year ago. They are empty nesters and had no other animals. And they love cats. We went to visit Alf on Friday night, two weeks after his move. He was perfectly himself, and he has bonded with his new family. He has so much room to run around and play. Big windowsills to sit on. Three bedrooms to choose from. A cool basement to retreat to. Doting new owners. It's better for him. It really is. He sat there under the coffee table and looked up at me. Lengthy eye contact. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Just gazing at me: his mom. I still get all clenchy and weepy thinking about him. Giving him away was one of the hardest emotional moments of my life. I know it was the right thing to do. And I also know that I'll never take on another pet unless I end up a spinster. I can't split my love like that.

Love. Daniel. I don't know. We've been together so long. I can't imagine not being with Daniel. Our relationship is at times strained, but in general we are a good match. We have a lot of history together now, and nobody knows me as well as he does. He encourages me to better myself and to pursue my interests. We have ultimate trust in each other. I need to try to be more affectionate. He doens't bring it out of me the way some other people do, and that's a challenge. And it's what has been holding him back. I guess my feelings for him are more of friend than lover, but is that necessarily a terrible thing? I know that some people maintain passionate relationships throughout their lives, but I just don't see ours as playing out like that. Does that mean that the relationship is not something we should pursue? Removing Alf from the situation helps simplify things, as Daniel was insanely jealous of the affection that I'd give to Alf. I'm not sure if his reasoning was correct, though, because I can't transfer that affection to him. Instead it just dried up. And forced me to be more guarded with my feelings, lest I suffer the same kind of loss again.

Anyhow, that's a more descriptive summary of what's happened. In a couple of weeks the new apartment will be sorted out, and we can get started on living again. I want to live more passionately, to give Daniel that kind of love that he needds, and to strip out the excess noise from my life to allow me to focus on creative and energizing pursuits that make me feel more whole.

Roots | Shoots