First of all, I consider her a good friend, even though we don't see each other often. I drove 8 hrs by myself through the mountains to go to her wedding. We were best friends through university. Whenever I have big life changes, I tell her personally before annoucing to the world. I am hurt that she didn't tell me first.

And then I am just hurt in general. I feel like someone kicked me in the chest. I don't know what the emotion is - a mixture of hate and envy and feeling left out. It's an empty feeling that reminds me of how I felt when Carolyn betrayed me in eighth grade.