Wednesday, Oct. 02, 2013 @ 6:05 pm
I just went on Facebook for the first time in a while. My friend Sarah had announced that she was pregnant. I'm overcome with emotions, so much that my hands are shaking.
First of all, I consider her a good friend, even though we don't see each other often. I drove 8 hrs by myself through the mountains to go to her wedding. We were best friends through university. Whenever I have big life changes, I tell her personally before annoucing to the world. I am hurt that she didn't tell me first.
And then I am just hurt in general. I feel like someone kicked me in the chest. I don't know what the emotion is - a mixture of hate and envy and feeling left out. It's an empty feeling that reminds me of how I felt when Carolyn betrayed me in eighth grade.
Anyhow, this is why I don't go on Facebook. But is that the real problem? Shouldn't I be able to handle seeing things like this?