Rooted, I used to think.

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The Birthday Dance - Friday, Dec. 20, 2019
You and Me - Tuesday, Dec. 17, 2019
Resilience - Friday, Dec. 13, 2019
Anniversary - Thursday, Dec. 12, 2019
Still Happy - Tuesday, Dec. 10, 2019

Tuesday, Feb. 05, 2019 @ 2:01 pm
Day Eleven

He sends me an email:

"Hi, I hope you’re doing ok and feeling energized!"


He thinks that I'm on some sort of 'spa retreat' in the city to get energized?

I'm confused. I left in tears and told him that I couldn't even be in the same room as him anymore. He begged me to reassure him that I was coming back to 'work on things' and I told him that I couldn't answer that. And then he texted me, and I told him to NOT text me because it triggered a panic attack. At first I questioned my communication skills, but then I realized that THIS IS THE ENTIRE THING. Questioning myself. Doubting my own abilities.

I need to get this over with and start the process of untangling. I feel myself moving into an angry phase, which is a pleasant change from the scared/lonely phase.

This is when I start running. A lot. To loud music.

Roots | Shoots