Rooted, I used to think.

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Tuesday, Feb. 14, 2023 @ 10:53 am
Valentine's Day

Last night I dreamed that I talked with Daniel.

“Are you happy now?” I asked.

“No,” he replies, awkwardly turning his lanky body away from me, eyes directed towards the ground.

I knew this would be his response. I knew that despite the outward appearance of success (a house, a dog, a common-law wife) that he was still interminably unsatisfied with life and humanity.

I woke up feeling dread and angst. I lay there thinking about Valentine’s Day, about how every year I’d give him the same card attached to a pound of coffee beans that I’d travelled across the city to acquire. The gift was unusual - I’m not prone to celebrating children’s holidays - and it always came as a twee surprise to him. We’d laugh about it, but then he’d keep the card on display for weeks, months.

And yet I’ve prepared nothing for Russell who deserves so much more, who will never complain, who is always happy and grateful with life.

Roots | Shoots