Rooted, I used to think.

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Drum Circle II - Wednesday, May. 17, 2023
Nine O'Clock Gun - Monday, May. 15, 2023
Drum Circle - Wednesday, May. 10, 2023
In the Forest - Monday, May. 08, 2023
Reassurance - Wednesday, May. 03, 2023

Monday, May. 01, 2023 @ 6:04 pm

I made a mistake fourteen days ago. I was concerned the next morning when I realized my error, and I brushed it off considering my age is not considered particularly fertile.

I have symptoms today that could be consistent with implantation of a fertilized egg. I realized this today in the bathroom stall in at work, and I sat there, my heart pounding, the world feeling both too large and too small at the same time. Everything coming into sharp focus, with a wave of nausea.

I sat there and observed my response. Fear.

This is what it's always been for me.

I'm afraid to have a child. That's the reason, without a doubt, as to why I never started a family.

And now I wait.

Roots | Shoots