2002-04-08 @ 5:11 p.m.
Frustration
Cell biology. It's not biochemistry. It's not microbiology. This job hunt is getting very frustrating. The micro people get the micro jobs, the biochem people get the biochem jobs... today I got an email back from a company rejecting me because I wasn't food science. Yesterday I was denied simply because I wasn't an aggie... What does that leave?? Hello Safeway. Oh ya, and I forgot to mention that the animal science people get all the animal jobs and the plant people get the ecology jobs. What a friggin' waste of 4 years.
To top off my frustration today: lab partner crush. Ok, so his name is Russ. That's much shorter to type each time. Well, we had a genetics review session today, and Russ came and sat in the seat in the row in front of me, but with 3 of his friends. He kinda said hi and smiled. He quietly asked how I was doing, but it was awkard because his friends didn't know me. They all talked around me, and I stared at my page and doodled, pretending not to be listening to every word they spoke. I could see him looking in my direction. I looked up a couple times right into his penetrating clear blue eyes. They left early; the TA was just answering people's dumb questions. When he left, I felt this great weight on my chest. I'd kinda hoped we'd chat after class. And now I am mad at myself for being so retarded and shy. Tomorrow.. maybe he'll come to the review session tomorrow.
Side note: Went to work this morning to discover TWO dead hens in the chicken pens. I picked them up by their cold feet... the skin moved a little over their toe bones in response to the heaft of their fat bodies. I went to put them in the freezer for dead chickens... it appeared nobody had cleaned that thing since the 80's.. and there was no room for the two in my hand. Gross. My boss came by and I explained the issue, pointing to the casualties on the cement nearby, and he said he should probably dissect them anyhow to determine why they died... I left. Quickly.
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