Rooted, I used to think.

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Atonement - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2019

Friday, Apr. 25, 2014 @ 11:07 am
April Travels

The last month has been busy and (mostly) fun.

Took a trip to Victoria, stayed with some old friends. Spend the weekend eating food, drinking beer and cocktails and walking, walking, walking.

It's strange to think that we used to live there. It was surreal. I walked the route that I used to take every morning from our apartment to the bus stop. The same cat was lazing on the stoop of one of the apartment buildings, the one that I used to stop to pet every afternoon. The bluffs that we used to walk at night. The grocery store, the coffee shop, all of it so strange and small. My body and mind flooded with emotion and sentiment. I can hardly remember who I was then. Driving horse-drawn carriages through James Bay, running through the Garry Oak meadows of Beacon Hill Park.

I always thought that I wanted to move back there, and I'm not sure if that is true anymore. Maybe it is true, but I won't open my heart enough to it because it's not a reality at this moment.

Then I went to Calgary for work. Spent two long days working, eating crappy hotel restaurant food, watching reality TV at night in the hotel room, trudging down the hall to the ice machine in stocking feet. I realized, while travelling through the airport in Vancouver, that I've become a seasoned business traveler. I've invested in smart, functional, and conservative carry-on luggage that holds everything that I need for week. My toiletries are pre-packaged into the CATSA approved zip-loc bag, and I know which shoes set off the metal detector. It all no longer phases me. Hailing a cab at the Calgary airport, making small talk on the way to the hotel. It makes me feel very adult.

When I was released from work duties at 4pm on the Saturday, I picked up a rental car and went into town. I walked the parks and the dark, windy downtown core. I walked through the old residential area and along the river bluffs. As the sun set, I spent an hour cruising the malls and outer box-lands, just taking it all in.

In the morning, I checked out of the hotel and hit the highway, driving towards the Rocky Mountains, the sun rising and illuminating the snowy mountain range. Truly gorgeous and perfect moment, radio cranked, feeling so free and happy. I met up with my heavily preganant girlfriend in Canmore. Her dog tried to bite my face off, but I tried to not make a big deal of it. It actually bothered me quite a lot, having a German shephard lunge at your face. I can still feel the slobbery teeth graze down the side of my cheek. I $%&%ing hate German shephards. Anyhow, she took me for breakfast, and then we took her dog for a walk along the river. God, Canmore. It's about as close to Switzerland as exists in Canada.

I left around noon and headed back to Calgary to meet up with another friend for lunch. We met at this ridiculous Bass Pro store filled with animatronic deer heads and real live trout in this giant mall complex in the middle of a vast extent of sprawling suburbia. It was a grotesque experience and so wholly Albertan that I was laughing on the inside at the surplus and absurdity of it all.

I'd always thought that we would consider living Calgary, but I'm not sure if that is true anymore. Calgary itself is challenging. The attitude is not something that I identify with. There are other pros and cons, but it's not really an option right now so I just kind of packed the thoughts away into a corner of my brain and let it rest.

Last weekend we went up to a little town in the Okanagan for Easter. We stayed with D's aunt and uncle, and his cousin and her little 1 y/o baby were there for the weekend as well. I'm just going to say that I'm amazing with 1 y/o babies. It's my favourite age - they are robust and agile but they don't walk or talk yet. Kind of like cats. Hahaha. Sorry Moms. I spent the weekend walking around with this little kid on my hip, bouncing him a little, showing him things, and making him laugh. We also did a bunch of amazing road cycling on empty country roads and went to three wineries for tastings.

On the drive home, D and I spent the entire time talking about having kids. We are both really torn about it. It's complicated, and made even more complicated by living in an outrageously expensive and crowded city. I guess if we wanted it badly enough we'd find a way to make it work.

Anyhow, one week until we leave for Europe. I probably won't update again before then.

Roots | Shoots