I wanted to walk. The night is amazingly cool and warm. I wanted to think.

"Are you sure that he's not dating you simply because he has nothing better going on?" This from Mom. So yeah, she thinks I'm a dog too.

You know, my self confidence is deficient in the first place.. way to help me out there Mom.

My sister wanted to try on my new glasses. She put them on and her eyes became magical - lashes long - skin shimmering against the green frames. I put them on and looked in the mirror. No magic.

What gives? How can one sister be so model-beautiful and the second such a homely sort?

Oh yeah, and a guy friend sent this to me tonight in a pep-talk conversation on ICQ: I really think you'd be the perfect girl if you where "hot".

Anyhow, the darkness of the night stirred up my thoughts. I looked at my arms. Twisted my hands up into the twilight. My hands are young and smooth. Howlong until they wrinkle and I long for youth? How long until I simply don't exist... stomach drops away... falling... I don't want to leave.

I was so calm when I went to put the animals to bed. One duck was up on a fence. I walked up to him and reached slowly out. He let me stroke his back. Then under each wing, then belly, then up his neck to his head. I touched each toe - the webbing is warm! I gently hearded him and his flock into their A-frame.