SWORDFERN
Rooted, I used to think.

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Thursday, Jan. 16, 2003 @ 12:07 am
Jules



An old friend added me to her msn contact list tonight.

She was my best friend in preschool, but we ended up in different catchment areas for elementary school. In grade 8 we found each other and began a nightly ritual of 3 hour phone conversations. Throughout highschool we were very very close. I still have a binder full of the notes that we'd slip into each other's lockers all day.

Somehow things changed when I started university. I moved out. She stayed home. She didn't even bother to get her license. We just drifted apart. I wanted to go out and do things while she just wanted to stay at home and rent movies. I remember the last night that I drove to her house... I got so frustrated with her that I made up an excuse about having to read Hamlet for the next day. I really did have to read it, but I didn't have to leave her place so early. I suppose I was rebelling against my life on the 'shore.

I'd see her at parties and we'd have nothing to say to each other. She began to date a guy in the group and then neither of them ever came out anywhere. I saw her on New Years just a couple weeks ago and the only thing I said to her was 'Cheers!' when we clinked our glasses at midnight.

I guess she just installed msn and was building her contact list. Still, it was the longest conversation I've had with her in years. And I really miss her. We are so alike on so many levels. We are both shy and hesitant to speak aloud. We love the same music and crave this kind of fantastic romance that is Cinderella. We'd walk down in the woods together and we'd sit at her kitchen table and paint. We'd melt cheese on triscuits at midnight. Oh how we'd dance. Yeah, I never felt any better nor any less than her. Equals. Her Virgo, me Capricorn. Perfect match.

She's like Miss S but without the model-perfect face.

Maybe.. just maybe... I'll have a really good friend back in my life.


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