Finally, I sit down to read the notes. These notes will show me how my coworkers perceive me. After completing a year-long leadership training program within the company, including weekend retreats and a group project, we were assigned to write a note about each person.

This is me now. This is who I’ve become as a person, after separating from Daniel and starting my life anew and getting clear about how I want to show up in the world and what I wish to contribute.

This is who I am after stepping out of fear. This is who I am after I learned to love and care for myself. This is who I am after not allowing someone else to define and control me.

I slowly read the notes, one after the other. I see recurring themes.

I lay my hands down in my lap, the stack of cards loosely gathered there. Waves of emotion. I feel warmth and tenderness and pride.

This might be one of the greatest moments of my life. I’ve never felt so appreciated, so seen.

Russell arrives for dinner. I show him the cards. He immediately sits down to read them, and he nods his head at some and murmurs words of agreement on others.

“Is that how you see me?” I ask him.

“Yes, this is how I see you. Very much so. And there’s more that’s not captured in these comments.”

“More?”

“Yes, more.” And he raises an eyebrow and smiles.


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What I appreciate about you:

The very deliberate and vulnerable way you shared all of your thoughts with us.

Your infectious smile! Your dedication to advancing women in technology. Your enthusiasm in supporting the Foundation

Your dedication and thoughtful answer to any question that would come your way.

That you shared so much about your vulnerabilities and how you work with your strengths to learn new things and push yourself to grow as a whole person. I really appreciated how so much of what you have shared to date is about the goals you set for yourself outside of work. I found this inspiring and encouraging of balance.

I think we may be kindred spirits! I have really appreciated the opportunity to connect with you more. I LOVE your sense of adventure, your bravery on taking on challenges, and your active concern for others. Let’s keep in touch!

You allowed me to redefine Urban as a work place. After a tough year you came ‘home’ to Vancouver and shared how much it meant to you to be surrounded by your work family. It made me reconsider how I look at ‘work’ in the traditional sense. Thank you.

Your leadership and passion to contribute and influence others.

Your quiet demeanor and thoughtful attitude, listening, and speaking with intention. I’ve noticed you’ve been more outgoing and outspoken this past year and I think we will all benefit from your example.

Your ability to tackle life’s challenges really inspired me. You always seem to be looking forward and trying to make the best of every situation. Keep motivating people to keep their heads up high and focus on what really matters.

Your quiet and calming nature and the thoughtful way you look at things. I look forward to connecting with you more in the future!

Your passion for growing your team and coaching. I also appreciate how you’ve pushed through many of your perceived boundaries and grown so much in the process.

You have this quiet strength about you. You care about bringing others along and including people so that it builds a stronger community.