My Voice - Monday, Jan. 11, 2021
Friday, Nov. 20, 2020 @ 1:13 pm
His birthday falls mid-week. We are back to a near lock-down, with travel and socializing prohibited. I make him a sweet card: construction paper, scissors, and glue. I bake him a cake and place nine candles on it, because that’s how many I have in my pantry. I wrap him up gifts of nice coffee and screen-printed t-shirts. I show up at his apartment with prosecco, thrifted crystal champagne coupes, and a smile.
I pop the cork on the prosecco and turn on some music, and he shows me the birthday messages from his family. He opens his presents. We order in Thai food, and there’s an hour wait.
“We have an hour?” I confirm.
“Yeah, it says 55 minutes.”
I start laughing.
“What?” he asks, confused.
“I’m SO TERRIBLE at this.” I confess. He squints at me, trying to discern my statement. I turn and go into the bathroom.
In the bathroom, I remove my jeans and blouse and pull on lingerie and a white smock. Red high heels and a white nurse’s cap. I look at myself in the mirror and can’t stop giggling. I take a deep breath and walk out into his living room before I chicken out.
I can’t stop laughing. I totter into the room in the shiny red heels and do a little turn, then pull up the skirt a bit to show some leg, and then I have to put my hands on my knees to try to breathe through the laughter. He looks at me and smiles.
“I thought I’d be able to be serious about it, but I can’t,” I say through heaving breaths.
He sits down on the couch and places his hands behind his head with an amused look on his face.
“Don’t worry about it for a second, this is almost better. I get to watch a sexy comedy routine!”
That night, as I’m snuggling up beside him under the covers, he says, “Thank you to my favourite little nurse for making my birthday so special.”
I am warm and happy and am glad that I had the courage to try to bring one of his fantasies to life. It didn't go exactly as planned, and that's OK.
This is what it means to have safety in a relationship.